Life has gotten crazy around here lately.
Not that it wasn’t crazy before...I guess you can say we’re more on a maintenance level of crazy rather than dealing with a massive ramping up. Maybe what I mean is that, in many ways, things are changing.
This summer, my sister got married, I enrolled in graduate school, and Ben and I decided to buy a house. My work schedule has been crazy what with the study being in the middle of the treatment phase, which involves running classes on health information for participants. Plus, Ben and I have been trying to pack in all the fun summer things that we didn’t get to do last year because I wasn’t well enough - road trips, hiking, amusement parks, festivals, etc. The whole deal.
These are, obviously, all good things! But the danger lying beneath the busyness is that the stress of such fast-paced activity and changes can be a trigger for underlying physical disorder.
For people with chronic health conditions, maintaining order in one’s body is a more complicated task than it is for the totally healthy person. Things which most can handle without too much thought and recover from relatively quickly can exacerbate symptoms and take time to bounce back from. This is especially true for myself currently as I am newly in remission from FND. While I do not believe that stress causes the disorder, exhaustion is certainly a trigger which can exacerbate symptoms. My improvement has held in that I have not experienced seizures or the debilitating brain fog for some months now, but when I am tired sometimes I still experience oddities like numbness in my legs, facial droop, blurred vision, etc. It’s not enough to stop me from living my life overall, but it can be enough to force me to stop what I’m doing and rest. And, quite frankly, it still scares me - each time, I know it will probably pass but am still plagued by “what ifs”. I celebrate the progress that I have made and newfound ability to live a normal life with the looming anxiety that some level of exhaustion might send me into a relapse. This hasn’t happened yet, but as one might expect I do everything in my power to avoid even the most remote possibility of that fear being realized.
So, stress management is crucial for me. I know that in order to maintain the health I’ve fought for and the progress that Ben and I have built this year, I need to do everything in my power to prevent over-exhaustion even while all of life’s craziness is going on.
What does this look like?
I’ve adopted a prioritization of self-care into my lifestyle. This is less radical than it sounds - I’m not talking about buying expensive massages or taking trips to the spa or even delving into an entire realm of essential oils or other products. These things are all nice to do sometimes but would only be an expensive band-aid for the real issue of a body’s energy running dry. Instead, I ensure that I prioritize the things that my body needs, no matter what is going on. I plan around getting enough sleep each and every night. I’ve paid increased attention to getting proper nutrition and hydration. I set up boundaries between me and toxic people and environments wherever possible. I allow myself the social liberty to remove myself from overstimulating environments, even if other people may not understand. I allow myself time for outlets that help me decompress and relax. I’ve learned how to say “no” when feeling pressure to commit to something that I know is outside of my energy limits.
Obviously, I am quite privileged in that I have the ability to sequester time for myself so regularly. Not everyone can do so.
But everyone can at least sit down, evaluate their schedules, and think long and hard about whether activities filling up their time are truly necessities or whether they’re things that add significant value to their lives. Sometimes the answer will come back that, yes, everything is really that important. In those cases, sometimes you just have to get through it. But oftentimes that won’t be the case...it seems to me that we are so often busy in our society with things that really won’t matter in the long-run. If you find that you are filling time with these sorts of things and you are feeling burned out, start saying no to certain activities. You may feel guilty at first, but there is nothing wrong with prioritizing your health and sanity. And you will likely find that when you give yourself moments to recharge, you’ll be more effective at the things that do rank as higher priorities. Hopefully, you can reach a point where you can commit the bulk of your energy to things that add value to your life and family, and then recoup from that expenditure during the time that was once filled with fluff.
And, don’t be afraid to ask for help. So much of my success and ability to thrive despite adversity can be tied back to my having had meaningful help and support from my family. Ben and I tackle everything as a team - some days he has the bandwidth to handle things, and other days it’s my turn to take on more responsibility and care for him. Neither one of us have energy levels which are totally static, and while we both get tired it’s often at different times for different reasons. Picking up the slack for each other where we can enables each of us rest when it’s needed, lets us take on bigger challenges together than if we were alone, and also strengthens our relationship in a major way. Granted, the extreme symbiotic day to day give and take we have is somewhat inherent to a marriage relationship, but the overall principle extends beyond that. Any relationship should have a healthy give and take. Family and close friends can also be critical members of an effective support network which helps members to diffuse toxic levels of stress when needed.
The biggest takeaway is to remember that while life has constant demands and many have to be met, you are only human. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will take care of all of your responsibilities when you run out of energy to meet them? So when things get crazy don’t place self-care on the back-burner. Give yourself the gift of high-priority status. Your body - and ability to handle the rest of your life’s demands - will thank you.
